Men,
You've made your lap, waited for any primping princesses to come out of the bathroom and are reasonably sure you have found the hottest betch in the bar. Now what? If you want to wake up with her number in your jeans (or her hair all over your pillow) there are some simple things you need to consider:
Timing
Approach
Salutation
Exit
Revisit
Or for short, T.A.S.E.R. because, when you're done, you want her to feel like she just got fucked up by 100,000 volts of Wow.
If you mess up any of these you've already failed. We aren't trying to pick up the sloppy mess at the end of the bar on her 15th shot of Cookie Dough vodka, we are going for the prize, the Eightoutof10. You MUST bring your A game and be prepared for her to throw off your plan at any point. Be calm, cool, flexible and adaptive as a Man always should be. In order for you to maximize your potential success, I am going to give you some generalized guidelines for each step. Pay attention.
Timing:
Betches travel and party in packs. She doesn't want you to interrupt her deep conversation with her girlfriends about why she hasn't gotten a raise yet or how fat that girl's ass is. Your best bet is to achieve eye contact from across the bar, disappear from her view and wait until the next round is being ordered. This will be when the betches either get up from their table to approach the bar or when a friend leaves the group to grab the next round. The key is to move in during a natural break in conversation so as not to disrupt their flow and thereby put the betches in defense mode.
Approach:
You only have one shot here and it WILL make or break the entire process. Whatever you do, DO NOT SCARE THEM. Betches are accustomed to creepers and douches and tend to be a bit jumpy in social settings. Always approach the pack from a well lit, clearly visible area so as not to startle them. Take advantage of opportunities that present themselves such as a dropped napkin or a spilled drink. Showing that you are harmless and sweet is always a smooth route to success. If such an opportunity does not present itself remember your timing rules and walk up slowly, getting eye contact well before you arrive. If you hear them whispering "He's coming over," you have either creeped them out or won them over already. Too late now, you're committed.
Salutation:
"Do you have a mirror in your pocket? 'Cause I can see myself in those jeans."
No, moron, just NO. Pickup lines are for movies and 80's sitcoms. My friend Natalie (@Tali_Ho12) would like me to point out that hot girls know they are hot, you do not need to tell them, bud. The only, and I mean ONLY, thing you should say when you first walk up to a possible Eightoutof10 is any variation of, "Hi, how are you?" If you just picked up her dropped napkin, gave her a handful of towels for her spilled drink or simply walked up, that is your go to, every time, no matter what, initial line. Her reaction to your question will tell you everything you need to know about the course of the rest of the conversation...
If she scoffs, laughs disdainfully or has a "Aww, I feel bad for you" face, gracefully exit with a, "My bad, I thought you guys - like me - were here to have a great time," and walk away. She refused to give you a chance and perhaps the only chance you do have is to show her you don't care if she talks to you and she is missing out on the entertaining evening she desired by blowing you off.
If, however, you get a positive, welcoming vibe from her then congratulations, you are 'in' and the hard part is over. Introduce yourself to the group but don't put weight on getting their names quite yet.
Betches don't just talk to anybody, a name is earned.
Proceed into small talk being sure to engage her friends as well as the betch you came over for. You don't have to be right on her, give her some space, stand a friend away from her but never let her wonder who you are there to talk to. Be funny and show your intelligence. Cut smiles her direction randomly but not creepily and always monitor her body language. Legs towards you and shoulders open? You're doing fine. On her cell phone and torso away? Uh-oh. Ask her about herself and see if you can re-engage her in conversation. The conversation should be 75% about them and 25% about you. Keep this up for about 5-10 minutes until you know the basic information about the group: where they're from, what they do for school/work and what do they do for fun. Notice that name still wasn't in there? We'll get to that...
Exit:
Once you have successfully engaged the pack, made them laugh and shown them you are a decent, eligible and entertaining guy, WALK AWAY. Yes, just walk away. You have made your good impression, now let the betches talk about you, judge you, and fight over you. Look at your watch, say, "Hey I have to go meet a friend outside," or, "at the bar," just make sure they know you will be local and then, finally, ask each of their names if they haven't offered them already. Extend your hand and give them a firm handshake, they are betches, not girls, they can handle it.
Your assertiveness and ability to walk away will intrigue them.
If you have succeeded in impressing your main betch and her friends, you are already in. After a classy closing line such as, "Now if you will excuse me, ladies... it was a pleasure to meet you," ensure that your final glance and smile falls upon the woman you came for and let their betch-ver-sation go wild about your physique as you walk away.
-- Now Men, you must be thinking, "Wait, we didn't get her number, what gives?" Well, my friends, you have just heard a complete breakdown of the oldest move known to Man: "The Slow Play". The key to the slow play is to make a solid impression and let the betch dwell on it. Let her mind wonder why you didn't stay to annoy her and her friends while they drank and made fun of ugly girls. And then, finally, towards the end of the night, or just before they get up to leave you...
Revisit:
Confidently walk back to your new friends, regardless of current male company, and inform them that you are leaving soon. Tell your betch that you really enjoyed meeting her and hope to continue your conversation over dinner sometime and ask, respectfully, for her contact information. Not, "Hey, let me get your numba," but, "Do you think I could call you sometime?" Remember, these betches think they are the ultimate privilege, especially while drinking, and you know what, she may very well be right. If this woman has strong Eightoutof10 potential, do not proceed to the following paragraph.
In very rare circumstances, with the appropriate amount of attention and interest from your betch, or after a friendly suggestion from her pack, you may be so bold as to offer her a late night meal to soak up the booze. When doing this, always ensure her and her pack, that you will get her safely home... even though everyone knows you two are a couple of hot dogs and a diet coke away from keeping your neighbors awake until 7 am. I do caution you, however, that it is very possible the betch will never talk to you again after your night of ravenous sexual relation but, that is a post for another day...
Keep on Betchin!
- Eightoutof10
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
If you would like to see your topic or question on love, sex, dating or men written about on eightoutof10 email me: eightoutof10@gmail.com or tweet me: @eightoutof10
You've made your lap, waited for any primping princesses to come out of the bathroom and are reasonably sure you have found the hottest betch in the bar. Now what? If you want to wake up with her number in your jeans (or her hair all over your pillow) there are some simple things you need to consider:
Timing
Approach
Salutation
Exit
Revisit
Or for short, T.A.S.E.R. because, when you're done, you want her to feel like she just got fucked up by 100,000 volts of Wow.
If you mess up any of these you've already failed. We aren't trying to pick up the sloppy mess at the end of the bar on her 15th shot of Cookie Dough vodka, we are going for the prize, the Eightoutof10. You MUST bring your A game and be prepared for her to throw off your plan at any point. Be calm, cool, flexible and adaptive as a Man always should be. In order for you to maximize your potential success, I am going to give you some generalized guidelines for each step. Pay attention.
Timing:
Betches travel and party in packs. She doesn't want you to interrupt her deep conversation with her girlfriends about why she hasn't gotten a raise yet or how fat that girl's ass is. Your best bet is to achieve eye contact from across the bar, disappear from her view and wait until the next round is being ordered. This will be when the betches either get up from their table to approach the bar or when a friend leaves the group to grab the next round. The key is to move in during a natural break in conversation so as not to disrupt their flow and thereby put the betches in defense mode.
Approach:
You only have one shot here and it WILL make or break the entire process. Whatever you do, DO NOT SCARE THEM. Betches are accustomed to creepers and douches and tend to be a bit jumpy in social settings. Always approach the pack from a well lit, clearly visible area so as not to startle them. Take advantage of opportunities that present themselves such as a dropped napkin or a spilled drink. Showing that you are harmless and sweet is always a smooth route to success. If such an opportunity does not present itself remember your timing rules and walk up slowly, getting eye contact well before you arrive. If you hear them whispering "He's coming over," you have either creeped them out or won them over already. Too late now, you're committed.
Salutation:
"Do you have a mirror in your pocket? 'Cause I can see myself in those jeans."
No, moron, just NO. Pickup lines are for movies and 80's sitcoms. My friend Natalie (@Tali_Ho12) would like me to point out that hot girls know they are hot, you do not need to tell them, bud. The only, and I mean ONLY, thing you should say when you first walk up to a possible Eightoutof10 is any variation of, "Hi, how are you?" If you just picked up her dropped napkin, gave her a handful of towels for her spilled drink or simply walked up, that is your go to, every time, no matter what, initial line. Her reaction to your question will tell you everything you need to know about the course of the rest of the conversation...
If she scoffs, laughs disdainfully or has a "Aww, I feel bad for you" face, gracefully exit with a, "My bad, I thought you guys - like me - were here to have a great time," and walk away. She refused to give you a chance and perhaps the only chance you do have is to show her you don't care if she talks to you and she is missing out on the entertaining evening she desired by blowing you off.
If, however, you get a positive, welcoming vibe from her then congratulations, you are 'in' and the hard part is over. Introduce yourself to the group but don't put weight on getting their names quite yet.
Betches don't just talk to anybody, a name is earned.
Proceed into small talk being sure to engage her friends as well as the betch you came over for. You don't have to be right on her, give her some space, stand a friend away from her but never let her wonder who you are there to talk to. Be funny and show your intelligence. Cut smiles her direction randomly but not creepily and always monitor her body language. Legs towards you and shoulders open? You're doing fine. On her cell phone and torso away? Uh-oh. Ask her about herself and see if you can re-engage her in conversation. The conversation should be 75% about them and 25% about you. Keep this up for about 5-10 minutes until you know the basic information about the group: where they're from, what they do for school/work and what do they do for fun. Notice that name still wasn't in there? We'll get to that...
Exit:
Once you have successfully engaged the pack, made them laugh and shown them you are a decent, eligible and entertaining guy, WALK AWAY. Yes, just walk away. You have made your good impression, now let the betches talk about you, judge you, and fight over you. Look at your watch, say, "Hey I have to go meet a friend outside," or, "at the bar," just make sure they know you will be local and then, finally, ask each of their names if they haven't offered them already. Extend your hand and give them a firm handshake, they are betches, not girls, they can handle it.
Your assertiveness and ability to walk away will intrigue them.
If you have succeeded in impressing your main betch and her friends, you are already in. After a classy closing line such as, "Now if you will excuse me, ladies... it was a pleasure to meet you," ensure that your final glance and smile falls upon the woman you came for and let their betch-ver-sation go wild about your physique as you walk away.
-- Now Men, you must be thinking, "Wait, we didn't get her number, what gives?" Well, my friends, you have just heard a complete breakdown of the oldest move known to Man: "The Slow Play". The key to the slow play is to make a solid impression and let the betch dwell on it. Let her mind wonder why you didn't stay to annoy her and her friends while they drank and made fun of ugly girls. And then, finally, towards the end of the night, or just before they get up to leave you...
Revisit:
Confidently walk back to your new friends, regardless of current male company, and inform them that you are leaving soon. Tell your betch that you really enjoyed meeting her and hope to continue your conversation over dinner sometime and ask, respectfully, for her contact information. Not, "Hey, let me get your numba," but, "Do you think I could call you sometime?" Remember, these betches think they are the ultimate privilege, especially while drinking, and you know what, she may very well be right. If this woman has strong Eightoutof10 potential, do not proceed to the following paragraph.
In very rare circumstances, with the appropriate amount of attention and interest from your betch, or after a friendly suggestion from her pack, you may be so bold as to offer her a late night meal to soak up the booze. When doing this, always ensure her and her pack, that you will get her safely home... even though everyone knows you two are a couple of hot dogs and a diet coke away from keeping your neighbors awake until 7 am. I do caution you, however, that it is very possible the betch will never talk to you again after your night of ravenous sexual relation but, that is a post for another day...
Keep on Betchin!
- Eightoutof10
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
If you would like to see your topic or question on love, sex, dating or men written about on eightoutof10 email me: eightoutof10@gmail.com or tweet me: @eightoutof10
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